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Why You Shouldn’t Bring an Axe to a Party, or How to Sit Down with Others – Episode 121

In this episode, Dara argues that in the process of ‘othering’, many are guilty of thinking only in monolithic terms, i.e. attributing unchanging characteristics to all members of the othered party. This reduces people to stereotypes and cliches, and robs them of both their individuality and the presumption of no bias. He wonders if this isn’t a huge part of the problem with discourse around identity politics, woke culture and gender wars.

Dara equates assumptions and prejudices with weapons and makes a case for the benefits of disarmament in the service of engendering trust and openness. He also stresses the imperative of non-judgement as part of a safety template that allows people to feel they don’t need to defend themselves.

The idea of service interests Dara and he sees parallels between the world of martial arts and conflict resolution that are informed by Platonic Idealism. Are we interested in serving ourselves, or a higher, more altruistic objective? He relates a story where in order to push towards a better artistic and creative outcome, he had to consciously not care about how he was being perceived.

Stepping tentatively around the subject of domestic violence, Dara claims that there is nobody in that situation who is not a victim. He looks at damaged masculinity through the lens of a collective wound to try to understand better the expression of male anger. He recognises that many people feel wounded and struggle to present that side of themselves in a functional way.

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