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The Absolute ‘Ick’ Episode – Going Granular on My War with Myself – Episode 140

WARNING: The content of this episode may be confronting and/or triggering as it contains detailed references to suicidal ideation. The subject is treated respectfully and carefully, but unambiguously.

In this very personal and occasionally difficult episode, Dara decides he can’t not examine his near four-decade-old impulse to destroy himself. A follow-on from last week’s episode in which he spoke more generally and euphemistically about a recent onset of anxiety-fuelled depression, this time he wants more transparency, more openness, more keeping it real. He understands that for some people this type of sharing gives them the ‘ick’, hence the title of the episode.

In considering the motivation behind such public exploration of such a private experience, Dara concedes that it is part of how he processes and makes sense of the resultant discomfort and destabilisation. But he also makes clear that he is trying to demonstrate what he believes, which is that the sharing and examination of personal mental health crises can be extremely beneficial to those who may feel isolated in their suffering.

Among other things, Dara talks about generational damage, projecting outward what we believe about ourselves, the connection between suicidal ideation and the collapse of self-worth, recovering from parenting fails, and the deep chords struck in him by the actions and words of his daughter.

Relevant Irish services and charities: – supporting individuals at risk of extreme duress and suicide – supporting those with suicidal thoughts, self-harming, or those bereaved from suicide – support service for those dealing with mental health issues – text-based service for those encountering mental health struggles

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