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Getting the Words Out, or The Things We Find Impossible to Say – Episode 127

In this episode, Dara is exercised by the things we don’t say. Why is it so difficult to express how we really feel to those we have known longest? Why do we communicate so tangentially and clumsily? What intricate layering process happens to put truth so far out of easy reach?

Dara presents a theory he calls relational dislocation, in which we can find ourselves occupying very different areas of a landscape to someone we think we know intimately. He likens it to moving to a new part of an ecosystem, leaving others behind. While arguing that it is connected to self-preservation and a certain amount of complacency, he is concerned that it is also where hurt, resentment and judgement thrive.

Truth gets buried so deep that real work is required to excavate it. Only then can we communicate something from our base state that can’t be spun into a half-truth or an interpretation of truth. Revisiting a recent theme, Dara wonders if men are particularly bad at this.

Looking to the outbreak of war in the Middle East, Dara tries to get a sense of Jewish perspectives on the conflict. He also looks at how criticism of Israel’s extreme response is being met with highly reactive condemnation, and in some cases, cancellation.

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